Why are there cringe couples now?

• From Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey to Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco, the situation is cringeworthy.
• On social media, ordinary people liken their partners to fluffy animals.
• Therapists say that showing us that we are loved validates us.

In 2024, people fall in love and don’t care who knows.

Needless to say, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have embraced cringe on an unparalleled scale. They blow kisses on the jumbotron and run into each other’s arms in front of millions of Super Bowl spectators.

You may have seen Selena Gomez refer to her new boyfriend Benny Blanco as her “sweetheart” on Instagram the day after Valentine’s Day.

Or Travis Barker’s totally TMI comment on wife Kourtney Kardashian’s Instagram post about a romantic vacation they took nine months before their son was born: “We’re having a baby Rocky 🖤.” I’m leaving it behind.

And who can forget when Justin Bieber shared on Instagram that he called his wife Hailey Bieber “Boom Boom” on their fifth wedding anniversary?

Meanwhile, those of us who can’t turn the Super Bowl into a personal rom-com and don’t have tens of millions of Instagram followers indulge ourselves by sharing relationship memes. Even after a few seconds of scrolling through TikTok or Instagram, you’re unlikely to be asked which sloth most resembles your girlfriend (or is that just me?). Highly empathetic reels of partners buying up all the futons for the night or feeling uneasy about the slightest change in energy populate social media.

Whether you find this shamelessly offensive content disgusting or a welcome opportunity to think about your own naive muffins, it’s everywhere right now. Therapists who spoke to Business Insider said the rise in cringe not only reflects a shift in the way people express themselves online, but also as a way to show the world they’re worthy of love. He said there is.

Younger generations feel more comfortable being “real” online

Israa Nasir, a New York-based psychotherapist, believes the couple content we’re seeing reflects a shift in the way people post online.

When millennials dominated youth culture in the past few years, Instagram was dedicated to presenting well-curated images, but now Gen Z in particular is looking for something more real, honest, and messy. They want an online presence that is felt. People are now posting online the gentle, playful behavior they usually did behind closed doors, she told BI.

“Before, we had to really present this very orderly, clean, almost aspirational depiction of our lives,” she said. “I think the rules of social media are changing. We want to show our whole humanity, all the parts of ourselves, the dirty parts of ourselves, the disgusting parts of ourselves,” Nasir said.

These changes may reflect a general rejection of traditional values ​​and gender roles even offline, she said, noting that “men in particular are becoming more gentle, stupid and goofy.” “It’s happening,” he said.

Dee Holmes, relationship counselor and clinical services manager at UK-based relationship support charity Related, has noticed the same trend. She told BI that younger generations are more comfortable showing affection towards each other openly than previous generations, even in friendships. Consider that Kelsey is called Golden Retriever Boyfriend. She sees this as a positive thing.

Showing the world that someone loves you makes you feel validated

But at the same time, traditional values ​​persist, and most of us are still conditioned to believe that happiness and success lie in having two children and a white picket fence.

“We live in a society where romantic love is promoted as if it’s the most important thing to us, and being single is a shame,” says Your Pocket Therapist. Annie Zimmerman, a London-based psychotherapist who shares psychology and relationship advice online, told BI.

In this context, being public about one’s relationships may feel very validating for some people. “It’s proof to the world that I’m loved and that I’m a lovable human being,” she said.

You may also feel better if you feel like you are following social norms and doing what society expects of you. “We’re told we’re worth more if we’re in a relationship,” she says.

Relationships are often complex, difficult, and full of uncertainty, as 2023 is the year of celebrity breakups shows, so sharing highlights online is an attempt to control reality. It could also be an unconscious effort, Zimmerman said. Things aren’t going well or you don’t feel good.

“You create a public image of a really happy person,” she says.

Holmes agreed. In some cases, she says, people may be trying to believe that their relationship fits the mold of a perfect love story, even when it doesn’t.

“When you look at the pictures, it kind of influences your own belief that this is a great relationship because there’s so much evidence of that,” she said.

But every couple is different, and posting jokes online in the form of memes can also be a harmless way to connect with your partner, Zimmerman said.

Offensive content can misrepresent the reality of relationships

Still, if their intimate relationships don’t match the cute, happy moments that other couples are trying to share, Zimmerman said, unpleasant content can make people feel isolated or embarrassed. To tell.

She said it’s important to remember that no relationship is perfect, and aiming for balance is the more mature thing to do.

“When we’re with someone, they’re going to have flaws and they’re going to irritate us. Even if it’s a really healthy, beautiful relationship, we’re going to be turned on. But. , I think being realistic about it actually means, “You’re going to be able to withstand difficult times and breakdowns,” Zimmerman said.

Similarly, everyone is different, and even if you’re goofy or not cute, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship, Nasir said.

“As we navigate this situation as social media consumers, it’s really important to always check in with yourself and ask yourself what it is that you really want,” she said.