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- After years of not being able to conceive, Jessica and Eric Smith decided to leave Kansas and move to Spain.
- A few months before the move, the couple learned they were expecting.
- In her third trimester of pregnancy, they took a one-way flight and have been raising their son in La Rioja for two years.
Our dream of moving to Spain has almost become a reality. A “For Sale” sign was firmly placed in our front yard, our visa application had been approved, and we announced to just about everyone that we were moving to La Rioja, Spain, about 200 miles north of Madrid. The only thing left on our to-do list was buy a one-way ticket.
But as fate would have it, life inevitably happens when you decide to follow your dreams. A few months before we were scheduled to move, I woke up one morning and felt something was different. I looked for his one of the tests I had hidden under the bathroom sink. And then, after the longest two minutes of my life, a faint positive sign slowly appeared. Or was it a minus sign? It wasn’t clear so I took the test again to be sure. And just like that, we got pregnant.
Not many people move to Spain from the Midwest. So when I decided to move abroad, I knew there would be many challenges to overcome. We had to sell everything, including our house and car. Needless to say, the paperwork alone was a nightmare. I mean, who actually knows how to request an FBI background check?
And of course, saying goodbye to family and friends was also difficult. But never in a million years did I expect that one of our challenges would be giving birth and raising a child in Spain.
My husband and I decided the American dream wasn’t for us.
Growing up in Kansas, the American dream was simple for me. Graduating from college, finding a good job, getting married, buying a house, and starting a family. We had checked all the boxes except one for him, which was to start a family. But somehow we still felt unfulfilled.
Our days were a repeat of that. I go to work, come home, eat dinner while watching Netflix, and do it all over again. We knew something was missing. We thought that if we checked that last box and started a family, perhaps our lives would be complete. This was strange considering all of my friends who had kids were even more stressed out.
But after three years of unsuccessfully trying to have a baby, we were tired. I’m tired of the monthly disappointments. Tired of weekend life, tired of just going through the motions. We knew we needed to make fundamental changes. So we decided to put starting a family on hold and pursue another big dream. Moved to Spain.
That’s why it was such a shock when I found out I was pregnant a few months before my big move abroad. Nevertheless, on September 7, 2021, seven months pregnant, I boarded a one-way flight with just four suitcases, two dogs, and my husband. It’s never easy to follow your dreams, but it’s also not easy to live with regrets.
Raising a family in Spain isn’t all sunshine and sangria.
I worked 28 hours in a foreign country where I didn’t speak the language. For the first year of our son’s life, we had no idea what we were doing and our family was 3,000 miles apart. I couldn’t answer the phone and ask my grandma to babysit me or show me how to change a diaper.
All doctor appointments, tests, and trips to the emergency room were conducted 100% in Spanish. We had to do everything ourselves. Not to mention learning a new language, making friends, and trying to start a business.
But guess what? By stepping out of my comfort zone, I was able to grow more personally and professionally than I ever thought possible.
The positives outweighed the negatives.
My mornings include walking my son down the narrow cobblestone streets to nursery school, listening to church bells ringing in the distance. Every time someone passes us on the street, my son smiles, shakes his hand and says, “Yay!” Although he is only 2 years old, he already understands and speaks Spanish.
There’s also the financial aspect. We only pay 50 euros a week for daycare, or $54. Now you can take your son to the doctor or emergency room without fear of receiving a surprise medical bill in the mail. If my son attends a public university in Spain, he won’t have to worry about student loan debt for the rest of his life.
But the best thing about raising a family in Spain is the safety and active social life. In America, I felt isolated and had no real sense of community. That’s not possible here in Spain. We walk everywhere and the moment we step out the front door we are surrounded by people. I never felt alone.
During the summer, I can go to the park with my son at 10pm without worrying about safety. It is normal for us to go out with friends or other parents during the week. In fact, I’m more social than I was before I had kids. One of the main reasons for this is that our community in Logroño, Spain, loves children. You can always see children playing on the streets, in parks, and right outside the Pintxos bars.
I will always be proud to be an American. I am grateful to my country for giving me the freedom and opportunity to pursue my dreams. The country that made me who I am today. But just because you were born somewhere doesn’t mean that’s where you belong.
The day I moved to Spain, my mother cried because I was leaving. The first day she visited me in Spain, she cried because her mother said she had never seen me so happy. Spain, you make me perfect.
Do you have a personal essay you would like to share about living or raising children abroad? Contact the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.
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