My partner asked me to go to couples therapy.I thought I had failed.

• I suffered from conflict in relationships and avoided expressing my true feelings.
• When my current partner asked me to go to couples therapy, I panicked that I had failed.
• I wanted to be a better partner, so I agreed to go. And now we are stronger than ever.

Thinking of the worst that could happen between the two of you, me and my boyfriendI can imagine dozens of outlandish scenarios. We might be riding in a hot air balloon that suddenly pops, or we might be tragically run over by a Zamboni while having a date night at an ice skating rink. .

Of course, I’ve been thinking about ways to get out of this situation. I may panic, but I am resourceful.

But none of this doomsday planning could prepare me for the scariest thing to happen in my current relationship. It was scarier than fighting off a grizzly bear with switchblade claws or accidentally opening a portal to the underworld to scare away evil Victorian ghost children.

my boyfriend suggested couples counseling.

Unable to cope with interpersonal difficulties

my high school days my boyfriend broke up with me Before he went to college, I was so numb that I jumped off his second-story balcony into the pool to try and feel something.

Years later, I found myself in the same emotional state, except I couldn’t see the balcony. I was 23 years old and was stuck in a relationship with my boyfriend at the time. our sex life It didn’t exist. To be honest, I was tired of being at the bottom of relationships.

We could have had an open dialogue about what we needed, but the idea of ​​sharing those thoughts and fears surprised me.

When that partner asked me to see a couples counselor, I hit the eject button as quickly as possible.it marked the end our relationship.

During a fight, my current partner Couples therapy was requested.

My current partner and I are able to communicate more and are less likely to avoid conflict. But like any relationship, we have some issues too.

When it comes to housework and schedules, we have roundabout arguments. When he says one thing, I get defensive, and when I say something else, he gets defensive. It feels like a tennis match, but while he serves with a tennis racket, I serve with the Wii remote.

One night as we were lying on the couch, the water started boiling. He said something, and I braced myself. Then he asked me a hair-raising question. “Maybe we should consider couples counseling?”

The eject button was still attractive. I knew what would happen if I pressed it. You don’t have to be honest or share your fears with your partner. You don’t have to sit on a stiff leather futon and talk to a therapist named Bernice.

I sobbed like a misunderstood teenager A24 film.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me.

It became true. For me, couples counseling meant defeat. That meant we weren’t working. What if we realize that we are not destined for each other? What would happen if we didn’t get married? What if one of us no longer wants children? What if our therapist turned out to be my mother in disguise, and she screamed at me, while taking off her front lace wig, that she wasn’t a better partner?

My boyfriend smiled. “Couples counseling is completely normal,” he says. It didn’t feel that way to me, but I decided to believe him because our relationship is different from what it was in the past. He said people do this all the time. Sometimes we need the help of an objective third party to solve things that we cannot do on our own.

I didn’t want to press the eject button anymore.the desire to be a better partner I felt an urge to run away. I wanted it for myself and I wanted it for him.

Judgment and fear of failure are gone.

Oddly enough, saying yes to this is Type of treatment It felt like a badge of honor.

I started telling friends I was dating about our epiphany. Many said they had done the same thing or were beginning the process. All preconceptions I had about couples counseling disappeared.

As we begin treatment, we hope to communicate better and resolve issues together. We are closer than ever.

The internal chatter disappeared. I haven’t failed. I’m growing up.