Opinion | This is the “Barbie” speech the real “real world” needs to hear

This speech articulates the ridiculous and contradictory standards that women are expected to meet physically, professionally, socially, and emotionally (to be “always grateful”). When one of the Barbie dolls, having heard the speech, wakes up from her empty-headed obedience, as if waking up from her dream, the Barbie dolls loudly marvel at Gloria. Power. “

What follows is a montage of troops engaged in battle, as Gloria works one-on-one with the Barbie dolls to raise their consciousness, and one by one, they realize that the patriarchy is bad.

I watched “Barbie” in the living room, and my daughter watched it with the movie theater audience who cheered at the end of the speeches. So was the audience at the first Los Angeles premiere of many. The speech received rave reviews from thinkers and became popular on social media. People have called it “powerful,” “cathartic,” “wonderful,” and “empowering.”

Understood. There’s no feeling this piece expresses about the frustrating demands of being a woman that I’ve never felt before. However, despite the monologue’s purported revolt against patriarchy, the Speech is curiously devoid of politics.

In context, this makes sense. Even though the film establishes a dichotomy between the real world and Barbieland, both locations exist within “Barbie.”–It’s a cinematic, candy-colored fantasy world. It’s a world where responsible men are easily overtaken and outmaneuvered, where Barbie responds to a spanking with an immediate punch in the face, where patriarchy manifests itself in insults and annoyances: stares, catcalls, mances. Planing and plenty of 4 hours. Matchbox Twenty song.

Gloria’s speech is perfect for this world. Like painless fight scenes and humans without genitals, it’s a toothless feminist appeal.

But for our world?of genuine Real? Not enough. I think Barbie is right. By naming the problem, you can break the spell. As a writer, you have to believe that this is at least the first step. So, ahead of Oscar and his 2024 election, I wrote an adaptation of The Speech, inspired by (and sometimes quoting from) what Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach wrote. .

May the next scene in the real world be a montage of troops going into battle, ending when we take back our reproductive rights. Start the same way as Gloria.

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.” You can vote, you can own property, and you’re legally equal to men in most cases, but you still don’t have equal power. I can’t stand it.

“You have to stay thin.” If you don’t, you’ll actually get paid less, and if you’re not thin, you have to. try Losing weight, even though thousands of girls and women die every year trying to lose weight.

“You have to be beautiful for a man.” But if you are If you get raped for being pretty — 1 in 5 American women are victims of rape or attempted rape at some point in their lives — then it’s probably your fault.If you are… do not have Sweet, then it can’t be rape, because who would want you? But of course it was rape. And if you become pregnant as a result of that rape, your state may force you to use your body again to carry that baby to term without your consent.

What if I want to have sex but don’t want to get pregnant? It is best to check with your elected officials first. In most cases, the parliament with the most men in charge enforces procreation.

“You must love being a mother” So if you do I want kids, that’s awesome! Everyone is all for it — if You’re white and married, but you’re at considerable risk in a country with one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the developed world.If you are Black or Native American, Childbirth is two or three times more dangerous. Congratulations on surviving and surviving the birth. There will probably be no paid maternity leave and definitely no universal child care or kindergarten. So you either have to pay someone to watch your child or quit your job. Yes, you. Your husband probably won’t quit his job.

But you should still want to get married, even if your husband probably allows you to work more and enjoys more leisure time than you do. That may be why most divorces are caused by women. This is very selfish of you to put your own needs first — did you know that marriage makes men healthier? –That’s why conservative politicians are trying to make divorce more difficult.

Women have been told that they have to be the boss and that they can do anything. So even though they work harder than boys in school, somehow women still earn only four-fifths of what men’s girlfriends earn, and black women still earn two-thirds as much as white men’s girlfriends. It’s just that. There are only about 50 female CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, and two of them are black. Only 28 percent of Congress members are women (the highest ever), and the country has never had a female president. When we suggested the most absurdly qualified woman for the job, we asked (and some of us said): But is she? likable?

“We have to respond to bad behavior from men,” or at least put up with it in the workplace. Women of color, especially those who work in low-wage jobs, are routinely sexually harassed and assaulted. We start to blame the men and take down some villains, but you can almost hear the countdown of 3, 2, 1. Then complaints began to arrive that women had become vindictive and men had lost their freedom to joke.

“I’m sick and tired” of being asked to sympathize with men, when it’s women who die at the hands of their husbands and boyfriends, when it’s women who work harder at worse jobs for less money. , it’s women, not men, who have sex with someone who may have to risk their future to pay for sex. It is our bodies and labor that are used to fill holes in the social safety net. Do you have a childcare center? Isn’t there care for the elderly? Terrible medical care? Please rest assured that a woman will take care of you.

“And if all of that is true and we’ll do nothing but root for ‘Barbie’ to get her dream house back,” he said, “then I don’t even know.”