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Ben Tanzer/Photo: Jacob S. Nabb
Chicago native Ben Tanzer’s new novel “The Missing” delves into the dynamics of a marriage, set in the context of the mysterious disappearance of a couple’s teenage daughter. We talked about all the troubles in our family.
The story begins with daughter Krista leaving a short note saying, “It’s okay,” and going out with her boyfriend. Her parents were in shock and at first did not know what they had done to make her leave her home. They can’t help but blame themselves. A similar story happened to a close friend of my family. One of her daughters moved out after high school without leaving any notes or reasons and never spoke directly to her parents (who were wonderful people) again. It left a shadow on her family. How do you decide what stories to pursue, such as why Krista left and the damage her disappearance causes?
Part of it is that by the time I wrote a young adult novel and it didn’t get any response and my agent said, “What’s your idea for a novel?” I was thinking about what a novel that explores points of view is. Marriage may look like this: I thought then and there, what if I combined a YA book with ideas about marriage and pitched it about marriage and daughters and the milestones and tribulations that can occur over time. This included the child running away, and this was one of many threads I wanted to address. Also, I didn’t initially realize this escape was as dramatic as what happened in the book, or worse, what happened to my friends. I saw it as something that happens along the way. My agent told me to focus on her daughter escaping, that’s the hook, and when she said that, I remembered a story I once heard on “This American Life.” Ta. It’s similar to a story about your friend. She talked about how her children ran away and didn’t leave a note or share a reason. I’ve always struggled with that idea, but as I read this book, I decided to really think through what it looks and feels like from a parent’s perspective, and this I had never thought of it as a story about my daughter. From that moment on, it was always about the shadows you mention. I also decided to use content from existing novels as elements of the mother and daughter’s respective backstories.
While reading “The Missing,” I called my mom and thanked her for being so amazing. What inspired you to dissect two highly intelligent but painfully injured adults?
Your mom is amazing and so is my mom. Just to be clear, I’m not competing, I’m just stating the facts. As for the actual question, I was thinking about this a lot recently while working on another project. I’ve been thinking about what kinds of themes artists are drawn to, how they re-examine and try to understand them from different angles, and how those themes inform themselves and the world. Is it coming from what you are trying to understand? For me, my fascination, even obsession, lies not in highly intelligent but flawed people, but in people who are (fully) self-aware but still incapable of becoming their best selves. Even if the right words come to you quickly, your communication skills may not be as good as they should be, and you may be too impulsive, self-loathing, acting your own way, and not accepting things. There is a lack of proper coping mechanisms to care for ourselves and each other, all of which I write about without judgment. I am familiar with these feelings and behaviors. I also want to understand them and those who follow the path I do not take. what will happen to them?
I can speak for most mothers I know when I say that mothers are usually blamed for everything, despite, or perhaps because of, the enormous amount of parenting that rests on our shoulders. Thank you for your recognition. The current generation of parents with young children seems to be more involved than ever in every aspect of their children’s lives. In this story, parents seem to punch their children when they need it most. (Except for Hannah’s father. That guy is a saint.) Do you think this is typical? Are we all doomed? Did I have to pass an oral exam before getting pregnant?
Are we all doomed? yes! But it’s not the fault of parenting itself, nor is it the fault of our own parenting or the parenting we received. But what about the climate? Wow. But you’re welcome, I’m so glad you noticed this. Because this is my shoutout to my mother, who once said this to me when I was a teenager. It wasn’t a reaction to something I said or did, it was what we were talking about. Perhaps two of my friends, who were primarily raised by their mothers and now 16 years old, wanted to leave home and live with their fathers. This scenario was one that she said stuck with her and repeated many times to her friends and family, but this was the first time she had a chance to incorporate it into a story. My mother also told me in high school that a man would never leave his wife for her mistress. Of course, I don’t think this is completely true, but I don’t know anyone who does. And my mother also told me the following as a friend’s thoughts: People, not just men, can always make time to have an affair no matter how busy they are or even if you think so. And yes, the parents do punch in this story, but again, I understand the instinct rather than the ability to do so, so it’s much more interesting for me to write about it.
What are you working on now?
This is a piece of non-fiction that delves into my relationship with the movie After Hours and my relationship with grief, The Basketball Diaries, my family and movies, being an artist, journaling, New York City, and Patti Smith . “Kafka” — a sequel that is perfectly natural and sure to become a bestseller.
“Missing person”
Written by Ben Tanzer
7.13 Books, 261 pages
Kate Burns is a writer, musician, and voiceover talent living in Chicago. Her voice haunted the elevator in her gynecologist’s building until by chance her office moved. She taught Spanish in kindergarten for three years, and like bartenders, she came to rely on the security of having a guitar, or bar, between her and the customers. It’s only a matter of time before she succumbs to her family’s lobbying for a dog. You might see her walking this dog on the winter sidewalks of Chicago, holding a leash in one gloved hand and a tissue in the other. She enjoys knitting rectangles in large fonts while binge-watching TV. She regrets the fact that she hasn’t gone to the movies in several adjacent seasons, but give her her book and she’ll be golden. She likes gardening. The plants are quiet. Her only child challenges her every day like Karma’s Mack truck. Her favorite animals are seahorses and hummingbirds, and her favorite food is popcorn. She decided on these when she was a teenager and she still hasn’t revised her opinion.
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