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- The Greylock method can be used when dealing with emotionally immature people.
- This technique involves giving short, boring answers until someone loses interest in you.
- This can be a good option if other attempts at setting boundaries haven’t worked.
If you have mentally immature person It can be difficult to maintain peace in life. They may constantly incite conflict, try to cross boundaries, or offer unsolicited unpleasant comments or advice.
One solution is the “Gray Lock Method,” which “essentially frees you from the power relationships that the person is consciously or unconsciously trying to create.” Annie Wright“I don’t think it’s true,” she, a certified marriage and family therapist in Berkeley, Calif., told Business Insider.
According to Wright, “grayrocking” means providing less information and maintaining a more neutral tone, making yourself as boring as a plain gray rock.
For example, if a co-worker gives you a backhanded compliment like, “You look really happy with your body shape,” implying that you’ve gained weight, you might try to end the situation by saying, She said she could definitely say, “Yes.” conversation.
Mr. Wright has said three times that you may want to use the Gray Rock Method on someone in your life.
1. They always try to profit from you
In her experience, Wright’s clients often use the Grey-Lock Method with people who are “very belligerent and want to fight” or who like to beat up others.
These people are reactive parent who is in trouble control your emotions,or overly critical manager Someone who always finds fault with what you do.
Wright likened these interactions to a dance, but Gray Locke’s techniques can make the dynamic more tolerable.
“People who behave inappropriately move forward in the hope that the other person will back down,” she says. “If you change the dance steps, the dance changes.”
2. I tried setting boundaries in other ways but it didn’t work
Although the Greylock method is very useful, Wright emphasized that there are other tactics to try.
“I also love being assertive,” she said. Set boundaries and clearly state your needs.
But even if you set clear boundaries, some people will push back against them over and over again, which can be very draining.
“Part of what emotionally challenged people are trying to get away from us is probably fighting,” Wright said. “So by joining the fight, even if we can assert our own boundaries and name the behaviors we dislike, perhaps we are stepping into the dance they want us to dance.” It will be.”
In that case, the Greylock method is a great way to get everything done quickly.
3. You can’t leave the relationship completely.
Although the Gray Lock method is often very effective, Wright recommended it as a temporary solution rather than a long-term solution.
For example, if you’re stuck in a job that you can’t realistically quit right now, you can use the gray rock method against your overbearing boss. But she said it’s still good to think about whether there are other solutions, such as going to human resources or starting to consider other open positions.
On the other hand, there may be people in your life that you always need to interact with in some capacity, such as pushy step-parents, and using the Greylock Method can make those times more bearable. can.
But Wright said it’s generally a good idea to be mindful of how often you gray-lock someone and why. There’s a big difference between doing it once a year at Christmas and doing it with friends a few times a week.
“I wonder why they stay friends when they’re looking for tactics to diffuse tension in their relationships,” she says.
Escape always beats rock if you can cut the strings completely.
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